Never accept a drink from the Condor
by arios
Summary: A drink offer from Joe lands Ken and Jun in an unexpected situation. Includes a cunning Swallow, a watchful Owl, a matchmaker Condor and a drunk Swan and Eagle.


Disclaimer: Gatchaman/ Battle of the Planets does not belong to me (I wish).

Note: the idea for this story came to me after getting reacquainted with BOTB/ Gatchaman and watching episode after episode on DVD. (Thank you ADV! I love you guys!) After reading some of the fanfiction that it's around, I started to wonder: "what if…" and seing the aftermath. This would probably work better for a Mark/Princess scenario but I thought it would have been more interesting to go for the Ken/Jun relationship, especially after watching the original episode of "The Jigokillers" and seeing Ken's reaction over Jun's supposed death.

The setting for this is an alternate universe, so to speak.

Many thanks to my friend Jamie, who kindly betaed this for me, even though she was not familiar at all with the Gatchaman universe.

**Warning:** Adult and sexual situations, language. Not for the kiddies.

* * *

Never accept a drink from the Condor

The party was in full swing. Couples were dancing, drinking, laughing, having a good time. The young boy doing DJ duties was very pleased with himself. Everything was going as planned. The rest, he thought while selecting which song to play next, was up to the couple in the middle of the dance floor. The very cozy-looking couple, he thought.

Yes sir, very pleased with himself he was.

* * *

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Ryu asked his teammate Joe, who was standing as it was usual for him: arms and ankles crossed while leaning against a wall. 

"Trust me, they won't know what hit them."

"I hope so, pal. I would hate to clean up when they blow you to pieces."

"Not going to happen."

"You sound _way_ too sure."

"I am."

"That's a bold statement," said Ruy, clearly not ready to admit defeat in the argument.

"They need this anyway."

"Says who?"

"Our little friend, the mastermind behind all of this," was the indolent reply.

"_WHAT_??"

"Lower your voice, will ya?" said Joe, looking around to see if anybody had heard Ryu's outrageous yell. "I am just the doer here, Ryu. The brain of this little operation is over there, playing DJ for this crazy crowd. And, may I add, it was his idea to get this party started as well."

"Who would have thought?"

"Exactly. I just provided the means to carry on the operation."

"Was it in your plans to get them piss drunk?" asked Ryu, a little annoyed.

"No, not really," Joe sighed. "I really thought Ken would have stopped at one, maybe two shots. But then Jun came up with that silly bet, and after the third shot, I can honestly say that I lost count of how many shot glasses he downed."

"And you went through _so much_ trouble to stop him," Ryu said sarcastically.

"I am crazy but not crazy enough to come between a man and his bottle," was the amused reply.

"You mean _your_ bottle."

"My bottle, their bottle, our bottle, who cares?"

"_I_ do, because I am not going to stand here and watch Ken leave out of here drunk and kill himself in the process."

"I don't think he's thinking about leaving anytime soon," Joe said cryptically.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Look at them," Joe said, pointing.

Ryu turned his head around to look at the dancing couples. "Oh shit."

"And judging by Jinpei's reaction, this particular mission has been accomplished," Joe commented with a sardonic smile.

Ryu looked at where Jinpei was and had to stifle a laugh. The Swallow was practically bouncing off the walls in excitement.

"I don't know about you, but I am getting tired of those two making out on the dance floor. I think I am going to look for company myself." And with that last comment The Condor left and went straight to a pretty blond girl standing on the other side of the room. Within seconds Joe and the blonde had disappeared into the sea of people on the dance floor.

Making out on the dance floor was a bit of a stretch, thought Ryu, looking back at Ken and Jun. It looked more like groping with a purpose.

"_Who would have thought that Ken had it in hi_m?" thought Ryu, smiling after finding himself a pretty face to dance with for the rest of the night. But before going anywhere, The Owl promised himself that he would make sure his commander was safe for the night, even if he had to lock him up somewhere to make that happen.

As it turned out later that night, the decision was taken off Ryu's hands by The Eagle and The Swan themselves.

* * *

Music was blaring. Couples were dancing. And in the middle of the dance floor, Jun was kissing the living daylights out of Ken. Or was it Ken kissing the living daylights out of her? 

She didn't care. Nothing could have prepared her for this. Those lips on top of hers, devouring her whole being. The song that had started it all had been a sweet ballad but that had ended a long time ago. The one currently playing was anything but slow. Neither of them gave a rat's ass. That ballad had been the main reason for the current kissing fest.

Jun could not remember who kissed whom first. It was almost like they just melted together, after being pressed to each other while dancing. The song changed to a disco tune, and the people around started to move to the rhythm, but they just stood there, not moving, except for their mouths.

It felt heavenly. Jun's last forgotten boyfriend from long ago was nothing compared to this. Ken's tongue had sneaked through her lips the moment they met and was exploring her mouth, sending her senses into overdrive. His arms were strongly wrapped around her body, keeping her there in place. She didn't mind. She didn't mind at all. She had been waiting for this to happen for so long that she was determined to enjoy while it lasted. Who knew when this would happen again?

"Yo! Get a room, you pervs!" someone yelled nearby.

"My eyes! My eyes!" someone else exclaimed.

"Aw, let them be. They look _sooooo_ cute," one girl gushed.

More whistles and catcalls continued to sound around them until Jun felt Ken's lips leaving hers. Was it her tequila-imbued imagination or was he doing so reluctantly? She realized with a start that one of her legs had somehow wrapped around Ken's hip. No wonder people were catcalling around. When she tried to move her leg down, Ken's hand, which she hadn't even realized was holding her leg, tightened, keeping it firmly in place. Her arms had been wrapped around his neck, one of her hands mussing his hair.

Ken's face was just inches from hers, his big blue eyes looking at hers without blinking.

Ken then opened his mouth, and Jun thought for sure she would have found herself sitting down were it not for the fact that his hand continued to keep her leg wrapped around his hip.

"Let's go somewhere," he said softly.

Jun didn't say anything. She just nodded. Ken let go of her leg, and she turned around, took his hand in hers and started walking. Away from the dance floor and the sea of dancers who moved to the side to let them pass before continuing to move with the music. Without turning back and feeling nervous, Jun went straight to the stairs that led to the living quarters of the Snack J.

Jun felt Ken's presence right behind her, once they had left the craziness of the party. Neither said anything; they just kept going up the stairs towards Jun's bedroom.

Neither Jun nor Ken noticed the expressions on their teammates' faces as they went up to the second floor. They would have burst out laughing at the sight of the Condor and the Owl's shock.

Jun reached her bedroom door and felt Ken pressing into her back, moving her hair aside and brushing her neck with soft kisses. Jun shuddered and fumbled with the doorknob until she finally managed to open it. They stumbled into the room without falling flat on their faces. Somehow, she managed to close the door.

Still keeping her in his grasp, Ken turned Jun around and pressed her back against the closed door, his lips meeting hers in a heated kiss.

Very soon, Ken's hand snaked towards Jun's belt, pulling her t-shirt out of her slacks and quickly slipped his hand under it. Jun was not a passive participant. Her hands were fumbling with Ken's belt, trying to pull his shirt off as well. Ken helped her with his other hand, getting the shirt off and above his head. The shirt went flying, but neither paid any mind. Ken had resumed kissing her, while Jun's hands went straight to Ken's chest. Things got heated pretty quickly, and they both kept their undressing to the mere minimum.

Jun's pants, shoes and under garments followed Ken's shirt. Ken only lowered his pants and briefs before he lifted Jun in his arms and pressed her against the wall then entered her in one swift motion. Neither of them moved for a few seconds.

Jun wrapped her legs around Ken's waist, throwing her head back against the wall. And a dance as old as time started to take place while Ken kept Jun in the safety of his strong arms. It was fast and hard. It left them breathless… And exhilarated… and amazed.

It was the first of several times during that night that they let their desires run wild until exhaustion and exhilaration took its toll and they finally succumbed to a blissful sleep.

* * *

It was the warm body lying halfway on top of him that woke him up. He opened his eyes partially and looked around without really focusing on his surroundings. The only thing that was registering to him was the warm soft skin of the body laying next to him… the warm soft skin of the _naked_ body lying next to his _equally_ _naked_ body. 

Naked?

_Him?_

Ken blinked several times, trying to clear the fog out of his head. And that was when his still sleeping brain registered another thing: the pounding headache he was starting to feel at the back of his skull. Why did he have a headache? Did he get hurt somehow last night?

But then again, headaches and naked bodies do not go hand-in-hand unless…

Unless he drank too much last night and decided to have some fun with some nameless girl. A very nicely-formed nameless girl, judging from what he could feel of the body that was pressed against him… _very_ nice indeed.

But wait…

This was not some nameless girl. Flashes from last night's craziness started to come into Ken's mind. Long soft black hair, wide green eyes dancing with mischief on the dance floor… the same green eyes that looked at him in rapture when she was on top of him, underneath him, next to him…

This definitely was not some nameless girl. With trepidation, and still without really focusing, Ken lifted the girl's right hand and that's when he saw it. The distinctive bracelet that only he and other four people wore.

_I'm in bed with… _

Ken's heart did a somersault.

"_I can't fucking_ _believe it! I'm in bed with… with Jun?_"

Ken's heartbeat doubled while he tried to figure out first, how he ended up in this situation and second, how he felt about it. The second thought turned out to be too much to handle at the moment.

"_Damn, what did we do last night_?" thought Ken, trying to focus his eyes on something, but the rising sun sneaking through the partially-closed window made that almost unbearable. Ken lost the battle and decided to keep his eyes closed for the time being. Not only did he have a headache, his mouth felt like he had swallowed a glass full of sand, and the rest of his body felt like he had been in a train wreck.

"_Apparently we did plenty last night… more than plenty judging by the way I feel today_," he thought, sighing. Was it his imagination or could he feel scratches on his back as well? Yup, he had gotten himself into some deep shit here. He and Jun… it just boggled the mind.

Of all of the male members of the Science Ninja Team, those members that were above the age of consent that is, Ken had long ago accepted the fact that he was the least likely to get attached to someone else just for the fun of it. Not that he had never experienced a thing or two, because he had. It was just that for him, getting involved with someone was not a top priority. Not while Galactor was roaming free and determined to conquer Earth. Ken's job as the commander of the team left little room for anything resembling a social life. Ken could never understand how Joe (and even Ryu) managed to get entangled with so many girls.

More flashes from last night came to his mind: Joe giving him, Ryu and Jun something to drink. Ken could not remember what it was. All he could remember was the strong flavor and how it burned after he swallowed it.

_Tequila_! Joe had said it was tequila, and that the only way to drink it was by downing it with shot glasses.

Normally, Ken did not drink. But last night they had all assembled at Jun's snack bar after a very difficult long mission that had lasted for days. Ken had thought, "To hell with it," and had been the first after Joe to swallow the tequila.

"_How many shots did I have last night?_"

Too many.

_Way_ too many. And for what he could see, Jun had done the same.

Which made another flash come to mind: him and Jun doing a silly bet about who could drink the most. For the life of him, Ken could not remember why they got into that bet in the first place or how many shots they managed to get down. Ken could remember drinking three, but he had the nagging feeling that he drank more than that.

"_What else happened_?" Ken thought, rubbing his forehead with his free hand. His other arm was wrapped around Jun, who was still halfway sprawled on top of him. "_Not that I mind having her on top_," thought Ken with a small smile that soon turned into a grimace when even _that_ made his eyes hurt. "_Damn Joe and his tequila. Joe, you are a dead man when I manage to get out of here_." Of course, when Ken was going to carry out that particular threat was beyond him.

"Ow," he said out loud, still rubbing his forehead. He did not dare to speak out loud again. At that point, Ken was afraid to even try to move. "_Better to stay here, not moving, until the pain goes away_." Fat chance of that. Jun was, as far as he could tell, still passed out on top of him, and just thinking about moving her off of him was too painful and too much trouble. And speaking of Jun…

Another flash came to his mind: Jun dragging him to dance with her last night.

Normally, he also avoided any type of dancing. But the tequila apparently took away some of his inhibitions, because not only did he allow Jun to drag him, he ended up dancing with her for a long time. A very long time.

Ken was so wrapped up trying to figure out what had happened the night before and what to do about it that he failed to notice two things. One: his hand decided it had a brain of its own and started to run over the Jun's back, and two: while his hand was doing this, Ken's companion started to wake up as well.

* * *

Jun opened her eyes and quickly closed them again. Her head couldn't take the brightness of the new day. Damned tequila. 

She felt like she had been put through the wringer. Her body ached in different parts. She felt tired, exhilarated and a little bit sore. That last part couldn't be helped, she thought, considering last night's activities.

She could hear Ken's heartbeat under her ear. Ken made quite a nice pillow. Sometime during the night, she had woken up and snuggled up to him then ended up lying on top of him.

Unlike Ken, who had the gods knew how many shots, Jun had actually stopped at her fourth and had a more clear idea of what had transpired once they had reached her bedroom.

After the first time against the wall (did they really do it there?), Ken had carried her, with him still inside of her, to the bed, forgetting that his pants were halfway down his legs. He had tripped over them, but luckily they had landed on her bed, both of them laughing at the absurdity of it, before Ken had started kissing her again, and slowly built them up again. This time around they made love slowly, with him on top of her at first, then rolling over to have her on top.

Jun remembered helping Ken get rid of the rest of his clothing, sending them flying around the room before slowly lowering herself to him. Ken had then sat up to take off her shirt and bra so he could lavish her chest with his mouth. Ken then lay back on the bed and let her set the pace until she came again, before rolling them over so he could take charge until he exploded. After that, Jun lost count of how many more times they had sex. At some point he had explored her between her tights, with her returning the favor. But each time had been as exciting as the first, with each learning what the other liked the most. Jun discovered that her breasts were very sensitive to his touch, whereas Ken had a ticklish spot on his side.

Right now, Jun could feel Ken's hand running over her back, so she knew he was awake. How would he feel about all of this? So far, he had said nothing. Knowing him, he would probably try to be all noble and lecture her on why it was not a good idea of them getting involved while the war was going on. In her mind, it was all bullshit, but if he decided not to pursue anything, she knew the best thing for her was to accept it, even though her heart told her not to.

_Why is he not saying anything? Please say something, anything… crack a joke, something!_

Fed up with just lying there without either of them saying anything, Jun decided to take matters in her hands and lighten the moment.

"Remind me to never accept another drinking offer from Joe again," she mumbled, just enough for Ken to hear, and waited anxiously for his reply.

The hand that was caressing her back stopped for a fraction of a second before continuing what it was doing. Jun's heart skipped a beat.

"We have to come up with some sort of revenge," said Ken. "A very painful one."

Jun lifted her head to look at him with a mischievous smile. "It has to be something very painful that involves him losing his clothes or something similarly embarrassing."

* * *

Ken just looked at Jun's smiling face. He understood what she was trying to do, but could not help but see how beautiful she looked, even when her hair was a mess from a night of wildness. 

He could do two things about their current situation: tell her that the best course of action was to not to pursue a relationship while the war was going on, that it was better for all of them if…or to just say "to hell with it," and enjoy the fact that he had a beautiful naked girl on top of him. It turned out to be very easy to decide.

"To hell with it," he said before he grabbed the back of the neck of a surprised Jun with a smack and kissed her before she managed to squeal. It wasn't long before she kissed him back, letting out a moan.

Ken wrapped his arms around her and rolled them over until he settled on top of her, one leg sneaking between hers. One hand promptly cupped one of her breasts while his lips moved to her neck. Forgotten were the headache and everything else but his beautiful Swan. At that moment, he decided to claim her.

Jun wrapped her arms around his neck and started running her fingers through his mane of hair. She could feel him getting hard again, making her excitement grow.

Things were starting to get interesting and about to reach the point of no return when they both heard the distinctive sound of their communicators going off. Ken hesitated for a second or two before going back to kiss Jun's neck.

The communicator on Ken's wrist went off again. "Come in, Gatchaman."

"Ken," Jun whispered.

"Ignore it," Ken whispered back, without stopping his exploration of her neck.

"It could be an emergency," Jun insisted.

"Come in, Commander!" This time it really sounded insistent.

Ken stopped kissing Jun's neck and rested his forehead against hers, breathing hard. Jun could see the frustration plastered on his face.

"Not happening," he finally said.

"I'm afraid it is," she said with a hint of humor. "Answer the call, Ken," she added softly.

Ken didn't say anything. He just looked at her. The communicator was still going off. With a sigh, he finally put his wrist in front of his mouth to answer the call. "This is Gatchaman."

"Oh good! You're not dead. I was afraid there for a minute, Commander," came Doctor Nambu's amused voice.

"I'm dying here, but for another reason," mumbled Ken, just enough for Jun to hear, which provoked her to snort a giggle.

"What was that, G-1?"

"Nothing! Still a bit sleepy, I'm afraid," Ken replied while trying to signal to Jun to stop laughing, which of course, made her laugh harder. Ken would have laughed as well, were it not for the fact that he was still lying on top of her, with an open line on his communicator.

"I know you just came back from a difficult mission, Ken," Doctor Nambu said soothingly. "But I am afraid we have a problem, and I need to you to gather the team and launch the GodPhoenix immediately. Once the team is assembled, I'll give more instructions." The line paused for a second. "And if you can find G-3, please let her know what's going on."

Jun's eyes went wide, and she once again tried to control her laughter. Ken was shocked.

"Roger," Ken managed to answer. And the communicator went dead.

Neither of them moved for a heartbeat. Ken sighed and looked down at Jun's laughing face. He couldn't help but smile back at her.

"I guess we better get moving," he finally said. It was amazing, really. Just the day before, he would have moved like lighting to assemble the team and go kick butt. Today, he would have rather stay in bed, present company included. "Jun," Ken said, only to have Jun shut him up with a finger over his lips.

"Save the Earth first," she said. "We can talk about this later."

"Sounds like a plan," said Ken, still not moving. "Just so you know, I would like to try this again but without the tequila."

"You've got it," she said smiling.

"Promised?"

"Promised," she never had sounded more serious. "Now let's go, Commander."

They both got off bed and raced to get dressed in record time. Somehow, Ken's pants had ended up hanging from the ceiling fan (good thing it was off since it was fall, but how they got there, Ken didn't even want to know), while Jun had a hard time finding one of her shoes.

Without bothering to brush teeth or comb hair, they both left the room running, almost tripping when they tried to go down the stairs at the same time. This made them laugh again. They got to the first floor of the Snack J laughing the whole time without noticing their three other teammates, who had spent the night on the first floor and who were about to leave as well for their rendezvous later.

"I'm going to need a ride to my plane, Jun," Ken said while leaving through the back door with Jun. He had arrived the night before with Joe.

"Sure, no problem," Jun replied.

"Man, we have to go on a mission without even having breakfast."

"Quit complaining, I'm sure we can find something to eat in Ryu's secret compartment."

A few seconds later, the other three heard Jun's bike coming to life and off it went with its two occupants, who were oblivious to anything but themselves.

"Did you see that?" asked Jinpei. "It has been a long time since I saw aniki laughing like that."

"Glad to know somebody actually got some action last night," was all Joe said. "C'mon, let's go."

The three started to move toward the door.

"Say… how does she know about _my_ secret compartment?" Ryu asked.

Nobody bothered to answer that particular question. It was incriminating to the other two teammates as well.


End file.
